Lack of confidence / nervousness

A favourite topic of mine in which I specialise. Possessing authentic confidence and eradicating nervousness is one of the more straight forward NLP session topics. At its worst, an absence of confidence can be completely debilitating and in lesser degrees can still greatly fetter success and pleasure  in work and life. A lack of confidence or excessive nervousness is surprisingly  common. Most people lacking confidence incorrectly believe that confidence comes from expertise and knowledge. IT DOES NOT. Confidence comes mainly from holding two beliefs:

  • knowing its OK to get stuff wrong from time to time,
  • knowing that you do not need everyone to like you.

These may sound counter intuitive but believe me, it is the secret to confidence. And if you doubt that, I ask you:

  • Can you go through life NEVER EVER getting stuff wrong?
  • Can you go through life with EVERYONE liking you, no matter how warped the judgement of some people?

The answer is NO. So what is the purpose of setting impossible objectives for yourself?

Over a two hour session, taking account of a client’s unique set of attributes, among dealing with other things, these principles can be realised and confidence ensues.

Comments of past clients

Have you ever felt complete panic at the thought of having to stand and talk in front of a room full of people? That was how I felt with the anticipation of carrying out legal training for my internal clients. That was, until I was introduced to Steve! Steve worked with me to devise an NLP plan to build my confidence in giving presentations. We initially determined what the concerns were and why I felt so nervous and then we worked together to allay those nerves. What’s the worst that can happen?! Well, in fact, by following Steve’s practical tips I have now overcome all my fears of public speaking and I actually enjoy delivering training! Since then, Steve has worked with me on numerous other areas such as handling difficult situations, being more assertive, building my profile and rapport with colleagues, and meeting new people. All of which have led to my confidence soaring and with this increased self-esteem my career has progressed from strength to strength. People say I am a different person since a few years ago (in both my professional and private life) and I put it all down to Steve’s NLP techniques! KS

… email to let you know how things have been going.  In short – very well!  I have read through the material you sent to me, and have used the bullet points as bedtime reading and reflection every day as you suggested.  Although obviously my current employment situation is somewhat different from the norm, I can honestly say that I have been absolutely staggered at the effect putting them (or at least trying to!) into practice has had.  I have experienced this in a variety of situations – big and small – over the past couple of weeks, and it feels just fantastic to really begin to have an inner self confidence that I have never previously experienced.  In fact, XXXXX has commented that she has seen a very noticeable change in me since coming to see you.  This will, I am sure, prove invaluable over the next few months as I search for another job.  The job search is another thing!  I would typically have been pretty stressed and concerned about such uncertainty, yet right now I am very confident about the future and genuinely don’t feel too concerned about not being in control of the situation.  In fact, I am excited about the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead.  Right now, that is a great place to be – and one that is unusual for me!  All-in-all, I am quite simply amazed at the impact just a couple of hours of your time has had.  I wish that I had discovered it years ago! Thank you again, and I will keep in touch over the next few weeks and am sure that I’ll be availing myself of your services again in the future. CB

Thank you Steve for making me feel at ease and through your calmness and subtle questions you have helped me to overcome putting off some difficult telephone calls that I’ve had to make. I strongly recommend you to anyone with any problems as I know that you can help them. Thank you again. SKP.